February 14, 2015

Chiang Mai, Thailand

An unexpected knock on our door today around 4:00 PM brought an interesting guest.

“Robert,” is a fellow resident from our condominium building. We have spoken to Robert quite a few times in the lobby or outside of our building. Robert is a French Canadian, retired orthodontist in his late 60’s, who has been traveling to Thailand for the past 10 years. He had been married for 30 years before divorcing his wife. Wiley and I have had previous chats with him about his “Thai lady girlfriends”. His blatant penchant for young Thai women is his favorite topic of conversation. Today, Robert is very open in our conversation and the “Diane Sawyer” in me kicked in and wanted to hear the perspective of a middle-aged, western man’s interest in young Thai women – as these unlikely couples are everywhere here in Thailand! A very common sight is a man in his 60’s and 70’s, arm in arm with a beautiful, young twenty-something Thai woman. I have always wanted to get inside BOTH of their heads! The Why’s, the How’s. (Not the details, mind you, but is there a deeper understanding to this behavior than what is the most obvious?!)

According to Robert… Thai women look for money first and love or affection later. Devotion to parents and family is a first priority for Thai women as they need to think of financially supporting their families as well as themselves. “Can this “farang” (foreigner) afford to pay for me and my family?” “Show me the money,” is interpreted as, “Show me you care for me.”

What began as a general conversation with Robert, about Thai culture and morays…. turned quickly into personal experiences. He began his story by going back thirty years. Robert had been devastated upon learning that his wife had had an affair with a co-worker. (Although, during our conversation, Robert also admitted to Wiley and I, of office affairs of his own.) Robert and his wife went to a marriage counselor who suggested that they take a three month separation. This leads to Robert jumping on an airplane to Bangkok. His spent the next three months painting the city red! He told us of befriending a taxi driver whom Robert had hired to pick him up at his hotel at 8:00 PM every night. Night after night, Robert found new discos and girly bars. He told us how inviting the Thai women were and after a few drinks, a “soapy bath” and sex, he would walk away feeling like a new man. Karaoke bars would be filled with gorgeous, Thai models from magazines… you could choose from a menu of pictures… meet them, talk for a few minutes, decide if she’s the one, pay for an hour and “do your thing”. Robert had become hooked on Thailand.

After his three months in Bangkok, Robert returned to Canada, gave his orthodontist practice to another dentist for a clean break. Now, newly divorced, Robert moved to Phuket, Thailand. Flush with cash, from previous years of hiding money from his wife, he purchased beach property and a large boat from which he had delivered from Australia. He lived the “high life” of surf, sand, girls and fast boats for three years.

Robert has since sold his properties and boat, yet still maintaining a large home back in Canada, he is now residing six months out of the year here in Chiang Mai. Robert spends his time seeking female companionship in younger Thai women, searching for “the one” whom he can develop a long term relationship with.